For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.

I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.

I've never done online dating.

I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.

For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.

I think absurdist humor is funny.

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.