For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.

Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.

When you meet someone you really like and connect with, I think that's very special, and not to be taken for granted.

I talk about stuff like my Blackberry, Lost, the internet, music, etc. so I guess that leads to the "nerd" moniker. But I don't get it that much to be honest. I guess its better than being labeled a "racist" comedian.

Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.

I'm so jealous of people who have crushes on people they go to school with, or work with. That's such a blessing. You actually get to see them all the time and spend time with them.

Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.