I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.

Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.

Come on, man, I got a full beard!

If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.

My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.