I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.

One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

Come cook food with me and do nothing.

This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.

Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.

Fiddling knobs, touching keys, having fun with a full grown man.