I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.

Everyone's first thought is "These women are going to take advantage of you" or "Someone's only going to date you because you're famous." That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.

I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.

My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.

Really good comedians, you know, when they go on stage, they don't really care what the audience - they're fearless, you know? They're so comfortable that they don't care. They don't have that neediness where they need the laughs.

I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.