I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.

Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.

Everyone's first thought is "These women are going to take advantage of you" or "Someone's only going to date you because you're famous." That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.

No one's trying to get with jugglers.

I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!

I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.

Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.