I'm so jealous of people who have crushes on people they go to school with, or work with. That's such a blessing. You actually get to see them all the time and spend time with them.

Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.

Fiddling knobs, touching keys, having fun with a full grown man.

I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.

You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.

Really good comedians, you know, when they go on stage, they don't really care what the audience - they're fearless, you know? They're so comfortable that they don't care. They don't have that neediness where they need the laughs.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.