The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
I have no interest in art. Let me clarify — I have no interest in non-nude images.
Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.