Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.

I've always tried to maintain that I don't have any advice to give. I'm a curious observer.

Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?

We've always been divided by some of these big political issues. It's fine. As long as we treat each other with respect and remember that ultimately, we're all Americans, we'll be fine.

No one's trying to get with jugglers.

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.