After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.

The great majority of people in England and America are modest, decent and pure-minded and the amount of virgins in the world today is stupendous.

As long as the plots keep arriving from outer space, I'll go on with my virgins.

Every woman dreams of love. When she is young she prays she will find it. When she is middle aged she hopes for it and when she is old she remembers it.

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

A woman should say: 'Have I made him happy? Is he satisfied? Does he love me more than he loved me before? Is he likely to go to bed with another woman?' If he does, then it's the wife's fault because she is not trying to make him happy.