I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.

If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.

The whole point of art, aside from the aesthetic pleasure it yields, is that it provides a bridge to the past; that seductive land where we all find certainty and consolation. Nothing quite spans this gulf with such immediacy as the art of popular song.

I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don't feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It's worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.

The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.