I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don't feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It's worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.

Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.

Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.

The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.