I do not sell life insurance. I sell money. I sell dollars for pennies apiece. My dollars cost 3 cents per dollar per year.

Most people buy not because they believe, but because the sales person believes.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I'm the least funny person in a room full of funny people.

If you're starting to lose your faith in the general intelligence of the American populous, there's nothing like them mistaking pop culture for Van Gogh as a sign that people still read their history books and care about art.

If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn't need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don't understand.

My dad told me at the very beginning of my career, basically, "If you're gonna have a megaphone, you're gonna need to use it to do some kind of good." He has always been aggravated by any kind of celebrities that don't have any charities or love or passion or something they're trying to help.

If I don't buy it, I can't sell it.