I don't like horror, which is ridiculous because I've been in three horror movies, but when I see those things, I see camera tricks and fake blood and actors screaming and I don't know understand why other actors don't see that.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I'm the least funny person in a room full of funny people.

I never thought I was gonna live in LA. I thought I was gonna live in New York forever.

You've got a problem. Part of what you own isn't yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?

I don't like sci-fi/fantasy.

The basic purpose of life insurance is to create cash…nothing more or nothing less. Everything else confuses and complicates.

If I don't buy it, I can't sell it.