You know, a man's life is the most precious thing in the world, isn't it? So isn't it odd that a man will insure everything but his life?

When you realize the writers start writing to who you are, you're basically reading reviews of yourself. And then it becomes this cyclical nightmare where I feel like I need to play into it, then I find myself acting like the character in real life.

If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn't need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don't understand.

Work hard. Think big. Listen well.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t done anything, and that’s what’s wrong.

I meet people and a lot of times, instead of saying, "Are you from the East Coast?" people just go, "you're from the East Coast, right?", having no reason to have known that. I don't know what that is. Maybe it's just that I'm Jewish.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I'm the least funny person in a room full of funny people.