Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

An oboe is an ill-wind that nobody blows good.

The Atomic Age is here to stay - but are we?

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

I don't stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.

Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.