Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
Live everyday as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.