Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.
Live everyday as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.