Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.
Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.