Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.