We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.

I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.