I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe
Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.
If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober.
I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.