Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

I ain't running for office. I ain't running for nothing.

Comedy has been so good to me.

I was a street performer for two years.

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

You're never going to see me playing a buffoon.

When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.