I'm so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you've been-what's the word?-oh yes: 'fired.'

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

Thank God for the gays. I don't know what would have happened but I know what did happen. Good for them and good for me.

[On Denmark:] ... that little country of cottage cheese and courage.

If someone were to say seriously, "I'm divine," she'd have to be locked up. There are lots of people in mental institutions going around saying "I'm God." But because I'm funny about it, they haven't locked me up yet. And I don't give myself airs, either.

Just because people don't meet you doesn't mean they're not out there breaking their asses trying to get around.

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.