Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.
So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'