Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.

It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'