Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine