I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it

That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.

A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that.

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'

So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!