A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.

YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you.

Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker.

For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next.

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way.