In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.

If you speak your mind and if it is true what you're saying, then I think the integrity of what you're saying carries through.

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.