Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.

YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"