Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.