Old is always fifteen years from now.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend.

A white person listens to my act and he laughs and he thinks, 'Yeah, that's the way I see it too.' Okay. He's white. I'm Negro. And we both see things the same way. That must mean that we are alike..... So I figure I'm doing as much for good race relations as the next guy.

Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli.

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess.