Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.

Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline.

'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play.

And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember: With fulfillment comes responsibility.

You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!

I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door.