Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.

It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, "I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar.

The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure.

I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.