On many young actors that don't give their parents proper credit: I'm still waiting for some actor to win, say, an Oscar... and deliver the following acceptance speech: I would like to thank my parents, first of all, for letting me live.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.

What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.

I don't have a clue about the way to achievement, however the way to disappointment is attempting to please everyone.

If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.

What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name.