My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.

If I use the word romance, whether it's my wife or not, it does not mean sex. We can use the word sex when sex is there.

I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.