As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.

A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone.

All around the United States of America - in the cities and the counties - our public education is suffering and has been suffering. Cuts, cuts, cuts.

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.

We're not raising children with the love that we need to.