Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?"

YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you.

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

This happened to the people. The Constitution says of the people, by the people, for the people... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people.

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.