'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"

People should fact check. People shouldn’t have to go through that and shouldn’t answer to innuendos.