I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't."

Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath.

I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?"