I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember: With fulfillment comes responsibility.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.

I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards.

I wanted to give the house back to the parents.