That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

The problem is that your daughter has given her heart to a 15-year-old boy, and a 15-year-old boy does not yet qualify as a human being.

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.