I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Went to the grocery store, got everything on my list and went up to the checkout. I put a bag of pet food for our rabbit on the conveyor. The girl looked at me and said, Do you have a rabbit? I looked at here and said deadpan, Nope. Just like 'em 'cause they're crunchy. Here's your sign.

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

I arrived home the other day, and it was just pouring rain out side so buy the time I get from the car to the front door I am soaked. I walk in side and take off my jacket and my wife says Is it raining out I couldn't help my self when I replied Nope, I had to take the gold fish for a walk. Here's your sign!

I believe pain is nature's way of saying, 'You're still alive, and life sucks.'

I just realized that with the invention of the iPhone and others you now get to see the top of people's heads.

Just when I think the human race has been lost to the "what about me" people. I see the best we have to offer helping others.