And don't put a rose in my hand. Put a slim-jim in it. Send me to heaven with a slim-jim!
I was a dork hunter. That's hard to do. I fell out of a tree.
You can't tell somebody to kiss your ass on a scooter!
How about this, have you ever farted so hard you shivered?
I was sitting on a plane that is traveling towards Seattle. And the guy next to me turns and says to me Hey, you going to Seattle?. Nope, San Francisco... I'll be parachuting off in about an hour. Here's your sign!
I'd love to be a woman for one day of my life... God... I would be drunk with power.