Remember: Greed is a bad color on a person.

There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing someone for being on a hunger strike by sending them to bed with no supper.

I am out in public and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man taps on the glass and says You using the phone? Nope, I'm superman, i am just looking for my costume. Here's your sign!

In 1903 the Wright brothers invented airplanes, because in 1902 they took a road trip across the country with their family.

If your mother still drives you to school, you are not a gangster, pull your pants up!

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."