It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Nonsmokers--this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight.
You all saw him - he had a gun.
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.