What are you reading for?

It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.

Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.

And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, "This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it... Now I have to create Republicans."

The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you'll find in this world.