I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!"

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.