No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.

Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.

I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.

Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'

The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are