I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego.

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth.

It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.