You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.

You know what I hate about working? Bosses...The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict.

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.