Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung.

No one knows what it's like ... to be a dustbin ... in Shaftesbury ... with hooligans.

How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.

I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.