Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.

...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all.

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...