The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.

What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.

You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?